Author's Note: Every day, somewhere in the globe but particularly in the US where commitments and relationships mean so long as the physical attraction or the stiff erection works, women of all ages and all social strata are being abandoned. Some brutally. Some with what could pass for sincere lies. With the recession or perhaps it is better defined as a depression of the worst and most inhuman kind in full force or about to become a true tsunami....
Some men , who have always had trouble providing adequately for their families at last come face to face with yet another business failure and they simply bolt. I mean that they run away. They are so demoralized that they plan the escape with care, all the while pretending to be loving and devoted husbands, step-fathers and grandfathers.
Some men pack small and tiny cases with the request "Call me on Skype every morning or late at night."
What is particularly wounding is the fact that there are no quarrels, no frightful arguments, a fairly serene atmosphere. Those are often over and done with. What for? The woman realizes it is hopeless.
" I am going to____ to sign an important contract. The one I have been working on endless days and nights."
"That's wonderful," says she elated for him and for them.
The wife/woman/companion wakes up at half past four in the morning - pre-dawn to see him off. She hugs him warmly, he hugs her back coldly. She pays no mind. "I wish you much success, you deserve it. I love you."
There is only a nervous silence from him, which, the woman refuses to consider for the moment. She has too many difficult challenges to tackle and portentous problems to deal with. Most of all , a masterpiece of a book as defined by her Agent/Producer written by her needs to be cut down from 900 glorious pages to 450 still glorious pages, for the Anglo-American and Canadian market.
And he vanishes into the murky world of deceit, deception and duplicity like the God of the Romans Janus. Two sides of the same face. One representing the real man, hapless and challenged by life's hardships, the other is the duplicitous one, Smiling, clm and indifferent.
Supposedly, he runs to his parents to help him out. So be it. The wife, born and reared in the Orient is taught to give precedence to the MOTHER. So she does.
A child's heart is broken. The child looked up to our poor excuse for a man as a hero, a larger than life figure, the step-grandfather was simply his NONNO -- GRANDFATHER. The Love of his life. Oh he adored his Mum and his NONNA. But the male energy of NONNO attracted him. It caused the child to admire, respect and esteem this very flawed man.But...aren't we all flawed? Is that why we seek perfection, knowing we will never attain it. But...it is the seeking which is vital. The child did not care. He just loved him and that was enough. He felt secure that he was loved just as forcefully.
The Nonno/husband/stepfather vanished. Vamoosed. Ran out. He needed to talk money with well off relations/parents/former loves. He claims it is to assist the family abandoned without an Aye or Bye in Italy. The women of the house believe not a word. That kind of deceit takes expertise. It takes DISSIMULATION and SIMULATION. It is too monstrous to conceive.
What about the innocent child? I call the result of this bolting "The slaughter of the Innocents." Indeed, the child , who is nearly 10 years old is broken hearted. He is not eating. He has been sick with a respiratory ailment since the DASTARDLY act of a weak man took place over 40 days ago.
Some male friends attempt to comfort the woman by saying that the man has been traumatized by repeated failures not all of his own making.
In the meantime, the woman must move and pack over 50 boxes, supervise a massive move int another place, look after the child, look after two naughty puppies, attempt to make light of the situation and above all - continue writing her major literary works.
" NONNO IS HAVING MEDICAL TESTS FOR A HEART CONDITION."
Yet there are men and women here with far more serious cardiopathic maladies holding down four jobs.
Could the men who bolt be demoralized in such a way that they cannot longer function and just leave. One, Two, Three, Pouf! Gone!
"Apres moi la deluge," Louis XlV of France declared. After me the deluge. Usually this is what occurs in the most vulnerable link - the child.
But what abut the woman/wife/companion? She must consider the man as if he died suddenly . She grieves. He does not wish to dialogue. She is too anguished to talk to him. Life goes on, Panthe Reis. Perhaps she will reconstruct another Life and rebuilt another Love. She remains one solid piece of Carrara marble. Unconquered. Unbending. Untamed Spirit.
The child continues to hope, his adored Grandfather will come back once "He is cured."The innocence of childhood ripped to shreds by a totally selfish man who hides behind altruistic motives.
The child wil have to be told eventually.His mother and Grandmother will have the ugly task of doing that.
This is a cautionary tale. Don't endure years with a man who is an unreliable provider. Don't stand by a man who clearly is deceitful and can happily carry on two affairs with two women, during the period of courtship. Don't waste devotion and loyalty to one who is unable to make steady money despite great talents and superior education and promises that "LOTSA LOLLY WILL BE HERE IN TWO WEEKS."
The two weeks turn into years. If you ever meet such a man: RUN!!!
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