The Starel Hordes - Chapter 1

Marshall Josef Stalin lay down with painful effort, grunting softly so as not to alert his guards keeping a useless vigil outside the door of his bedroom.

Yes! Useless, he told himself. ‘’Unlike the Swiss Guards of Pope Pius XII, none of these sons of lustful sows would offer their lives to protect me, if anyone tried to kill me. They all belong heart and soul to my Chief of Intelligence, Beria- that son of a hyena.

He willed his mind not to wander. Sighing profoundly, he picked up the secret dossier, regarding the execution of the Romanov family - Czar Nicholas, Czarina Alexandra, the Czarevitch Alexei, the Princesses Tatiana, Maria, Olga and Anastasia.

Bull’s balls. I must force myself to read this again, Many years have passed, and my own time is abandoning me so swiftly, he reflected and allowed himself a sigh.

Lenin and Trotsky had signed the order of execution in 1917. As always, I was the one responsible for implementing everything’’, Stalin rambled on. ‘’He was a blood loving Bolshevik fiend, what in hell was his name? Ahh! Here it is. Yakov Sverdlov, First Chief of State. He had written the detailed report I had ordered concerning the execution of the Romanov family. That Khazar baboon. All that was required of him was a terse paragraph or two. Instead, Sverdlov related the events as if his damned, defective sperm was running down his dirty legs after a steamy night of dirty sex. What happened to the bastard? Surely I must have had him purged along with the millions.

‘’Czar Nicholas, his family and the rest of their small entourage, including the Romanov family’s much loved dog, were to be killed,’’ Sverdlov began.

‘’Around three in the frozen morning,’’ the secret report continued, ‘’the Czar, his family and entourage were roused from their sleep. They were taken down to the cellar of their house/prison in the city of Yekaterinburg."

The political commissar of the PCUS (the Communist Party of the Soviet Union) was tasked with carrying this out. His name was Yakov Yurovsky, a merciless and fanatic Bolshevik, as well as the Commanding Officer of the platoon, which was to carry out the order. He was perfect for the task. Yurovsky had issued orders of arrest on his own parents, brothers and sisters. The accusation was a devout belief in the Torah, a crime against the State.

You are unfit to be part of our New World Order. There is no God. You must believe only in the Communist Party. You continue to worship and pray to the old God. Years of hard labor in Siberia will clear up your prejudices’,’ he harangued his horrified family.

Yurovsky gazed at the tranquil, blue eyes of the Czar. He scowled darkly and thought even blacker thoughts.

‘’How dare this man who is about to die look at me with such pity and contempt?"

He reined in his rage with difficulty. He took a deep breath, and read the Order of Execution, as if he were reciting the alphabet, almost without stopping for air.

"Comrade Nicolai Romanov, formerly known as the Czar of all the Russias, you and your family have been sentenced to death by the General Secretary of the Politburo of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.’’

Secretly, he relished reading this Order of Execution to the assembled royalty. That Comrades Lenin, Stalin, and Trotsky, and the Politburo had chosen him. Yakov Yurovsky, who had connived and clawed his way out of the most dilapidated shtetls in the Pale of Settlement; meant that they could count on his complete lack of sentimentality.

’’Yurovsky does not know the meaning of the words mercy or compassion.’’

Everyone said so, his superiors and the men serving under him. This made him proud. ‘’There is no greater power in this world stronger than my love for the Communist Party."

Is that all the reaction of the Czar, thought he. This infuriated him for in his mind he had referred to him as Czar rather than Comrade. A derisive silence greeted him. The eyes of Czar Nikolai betrayed no emotion. He was moving his lips softly. The Czarevitch Alexis, lay cradled in his father’s arms, eyes closed, deathly pallor, yet, he also followed his father’s example. The Czarina Alexandra and the Czar Nikolai exchanged loving glances and locked hands. The Princesses - Tatiana, Maria, Olga and Anastasia, held each other tightly and whispered into one another’s’ ears. Most likely, they were reciting prayers of some sort.

Well, well, your non-existent God will not help you. You will all die like dogs, Yurovsky gloated silently.

No one was reacting to the sentence. They remained regal and impassive.

"Damn them!! How dare they!! Not a plea, a look, a tear.’’

Then, the Czar of all the Russias slowly turned to meet Yurovsky’s gaze. There was such unalloyed pity, yes pity! in his eyes that the commanding officer, Colonel Yakov Yurovsky found himself yelling.

"Platoon!!! Enter!’’

The compliant and disheveled soldiers ran into the cellar without a word. Their heavy boots thundering down the uneven and rough wooden steps were the only sounds heard.

Czar Nicholas, Czarina Alexandra, his family and his entourage were filled with a deadly calm, as if the poor peasants before them were not humans, and perhaps in a certain sense they were not. Yurovsky had handpicked them for their zeal as Leninist/Bolsheviks.

"READY? AIM! FIRE AT WILL,’’ ordered Yurovsky.

The Romanov family stiffened, their eyes shut, their lips in prayer. The silence was overpowering.

The soldiers, young and old had never fired on humans. They were not battle tested. They closed their eyes and fired at everything and at everybody. Walls were sprayed with bullets. Chunks of ceiling rained on them. Chairs were shattered to pieces. Bullets and casings bounced off the floor. Pieces of flesh, splotches of blood fingers, arms and limbs splattered the soldiers and Colonel Yurovsky.

When the frenzy of firing was over, Yurovsky observed with a coldness that froze the blood of the platoon.

"Three young princesses are still alive.’’

"The Czarevitch is twitching badly’’ shouted a soldier.

‘’Finish him off!’’ screamed Yurovsky.

The soldiers were distressed at having to shoot a boy and young women. They knew how to kill farm animals but this was not what they had in mind when they had volunteered to serve the Soviet Union. They were not professional soldiers, nor killers; At least, not yet.

Yurovsky shouted harshly at the soldiers, "Use your bayonets. If any soldier disobeys, I’ll cut off his balls myself.’’

Reluctantly, then with fierce determination since they had no real choice, the bayonets were plunged into the chests of the Princesses.

‘’The bayonets will not go through,’’ a soldier cried out.

Something hard was preventing the points of the bayonets from piercing the bodies of the mortally wounded young girls. One soldier vomited. Several others followed suit. Soon, the cellar was filled with the sounds of men heaving their vodka and gruel, pissing in their unwashed and smelly trousers, and defecating uncontrollably. It was not easy to kill human beings. Yurovsky did not like this discovery.

The plight of the soldiers was drowning out the moans of the Czarevitch and the Imperial Princesses. The air was thick with the smoke of gunfire and heavy with the smell of lead, blood, urine, vomitus, and feces.

The Commissar barked, ‘’Investigate the cause of the bayonets’ inability to be used effectively.’’

Silence. They all froze. Could this be true? This was too much for the raw recruits.

Yurovsky paused before uttering each word.

"Are you sons of whores all deaf? I said…investigate… the.. cause. of… the… bayonets ‘s …inability … to… penetrate.. flesh.’’

The soldiers grimaced and shrank at the word’’ flesh’.

‘’Commissar Yurovsky, there is something hard underneath their clothes. We cannot penetrate it with our bayonets,” replied one of the soldiers. His voice was wobbly; he could hardly make himself understood.

‘’So? Remove the clothes. Strip them naked!’’

The soldiers gagged and puked again.

‘’You sons of cowards! Did you not hear me? Take off all their clothes. You had better get used to removing the clothes from corpses. They are dead and cannot hurt you.’’

He was screaming so shrilly, the veins in his forehead were bulging. Commissar Yakow Yurovsky stared in disgust at the sorry bunch of men.

Curse those eunuchs cozily back in Moscow. It’s easy to write orders but its another piece of shit to carry them out, he muttered to himself.

I must say that for Yurovsky. He was some ugly Jewish Mongol Khazar, but he certainly had balls, reflected Stalin, digressing from the report. The acute stabs in his abdomen forced him to continue reading the report.

‘’Do it! You scum.’’ He yelled, jolting his men and himself with the intensity of his order The Commissar took giant strides, ignoring the blood and brains his boots were stepping on. He swiftly stood where the princesses were moaning and lying in a sea of blood. He placed his hands roughly over the princess’ open eyes, inserted his gun inside her mouth and shot her.

‘’A cloth! You sons of sows. At once.’’

It was only then that the soldiers saw his face and neck covered in crimson and grey matter. None of them seemed to be able to move quickly enough for their Commanding Officer. Yurovsky wiped part of the Princess’s brains with his bare hands and snarled "I’ll utterly destroy all you men and your villages if you get sick on me again. Look around you. We have nothing but clothes from the dead.’’

An older soldier tore off several pieces from the Czarina’s dark silk gown with his hunting knife and handed them to Yurovsky.

He gave his gun wet with blood to a soldier and commanded ‘’Do exactly as I have just done. Remember, the gun has very few bullets left, and we are out of ammunition.’’

The other three princesses heads were blown off just as they had seen the Commissar do it.

’’The Czarevitch (the designated heir) is not dead yet!’’ shouted one of the men.

Yurovsky growled. "Idiots and turds. Use your bayonets and knives.’’ One of the soldiers plunged a bayonet straight into the Czarevitch’s heart.

The corpses need to be disposed of immediately. The White Army, sympathetic to the Czar, was advancing towards Yekaterinburg.

Yurosky ripped the clothes of the princesses with his hunting knife. I am curious to discover what stopped these bayonets. What was this impenetrable material which had turned this execution into an inefficient and inept massacre? He wondered.

The princesses were wearing corsets of diamonds! From their breasts to their hips, diamonds covered every millimeter of their skin.

‘’Strip all the bodies naked," ordered Commissar Yurovsky.

In their revolutionary zeal and devotion to Comrade Stalin, Yurovsky and the soldiers had realized the diamonds were vital to the Bolshevik cause. It meant money for arms, food and warm clothing.

The still freshly bleeding corpses were being loaded naked into horse drawn wagons; Yurovsky dipped the fingers of his right hand in the copious blood, which flooded the stone floor of the cellar. While his left hand wiped blood and gore from a part of the wall, his right hand wrote in Hebrew: MENE. MENE. TEKEL. UPHARSIN.

‘’God has numbered Thy Kingdom and finished it. Thou art weighed in the balance and found wanting. Thy kingdom is divided and given to the Medes and Persians.’’

The Soviet Union represented to him, the empire of the Medes and the Persians. In portentous times like these, just after the execution of the Romanov family, Yurovsky found it propitious to use citations from the Old Testament. He did not know any others. His family had been devout Orthodox Jews.

‘’The execution of the Czar, the Czarina, the Czarevitch, the Grand Duchesses, and their small entourage was carried out according to verse thirty, chapter five of the Book of Daniel, from the Torah,’’ Smerdlov had written in his For Your Eyes Only dossier to Stalin.

Stalin skipped over the report of the burial. The graphic details of the Romanov execution and its gory burial had left him nauseated back in 1917 when he had first read the report.

I must not have tarried when I first read it, so many years ago. The truth is the sight of blood makes me sick. It is not pretty. Why should I have to see it? Be stained with it? My limitless power ensures that these unpleasant tasks are best left to those who derive pleasure in killing. My greatest satisfaction lies in giving the orders. That is clean, cut off from the blood and gore, and the corpses to dispose of. What I do not see, does not affect me. I am Czar of all the Russias now, as well as of East Germany, Poland, Hungary, Bulgaria and Czechoslovakia. That is more than the Romanovs ever had in their empire.

Commissar Yurovsky was a nasty piece of Bolshevik work.

That Khajar enjoyed smearing himself with blood and what not. In any case, there was no way in Hell that anyone who had participated in the execution of the Romanov family would be allowed to tell the tale. Especially a bloodthirsty brute like Commissar Yurovsky. I hope he had a wonderful time swimming in his own blood, mused Stalin.

His eyes found what he was looking for.

“Comrade Lenin, upon learning of the hundreds of diamonds in the corsets of the dead Romanov princesses, ordered that all the diamonds be sent to Moscow immediately, in care of Comrade Stalin who would know what to do since Comrade Stalin was First Secretary of Finance of the PCUS (Communist Party of the Soviet Union).”

Stalin means “man of steel” in Russian. His real name had been Djugashvili. He had hailed from Oriental Russia – Georgia. The ancients knew the portent and power of names and numbers. This arcane knowledge was not lost on Stalin, who had studied for the priesthood in a Russian Orthodox Seminary. He had what appeared to be a primitive side, but his core was refined and subtle…except that only his Mamushka (Mother) his Diamond Hordes and his roses were the recipients of this side of his nature.

Stalin had a secret passion, the only enduring passion he would ever have – Diamonds! He permitted himself to be uninhibited only when he was fondling diamonds. Their clarity, brilliance and power thrilled him. The Romanov diamonds were the first of what was to be a very large, and very private collection. He would love and cherish diamonds until the day he breathed his last.

Josef Stalin, the Soviet Union’s Czar/ Dictator, and plundered Siberia of all the diamonds his minions could locate. Each time land was seized from the Kulaks; the orders were to systematically search for diamonds. He insisted on inspecting each one, and selected for himself only the best.

One day, in the late 1930’s he received exciting news. It was a wonderful diversion for him. The purges within the Communist Party, the Politburo, the Central Committee, the General Staff as well as among the commissars, proceeded relentlessly. But, he was depressed, because he was losing many of his so called friends.

’’Comrade Stalin, the peasant Ivan Solokoff in Yakutia (Siberia) has found the most rare diamond of them all, a red diamond’’ said his master of terror Lavrenti Beria.

‘’Red; just like the blood which had been shed for Mother Russia, and exactly like our love for Comrade Stalin,‘’ declared the peasant Ivan Solokoff.

He had given it to his commissar “for our beloved Comrade Stalin” without a moment’s hesitation. Such are the ignorant and the well meaning duped and manipulated by a vicious state apparatus.

A Russian Jew who was a loyal Communist/Stalinist cleaved the red diamond in Antwerp. In a moment of inspiration, the Master diamond cutter Micah, decided to create an exquisite marquise cut with points as sharp as daggers. After two years of working twenty hours a day, seven days a week, the old and venerable Micah was ready to present the fifty-carat masterpiece to Comrade Stalin himself. Micah did not know the dictator of all the Russias had an obsession for diamonds. No one did. Everyone assumed the diamonds amassed existed solely ‘’for the good of the people and for use by the people in times of need.’’

Was not Stalin the guardian of the People?’’ asked the deluded Micah who had no idea that he, like millions had been fooled by their own idealism and their unquestioning belief in the party propaganda.

Comrade Stalin invited Micah to stay in his dacha just outside the Kremlin.

“Krasivaya! Krasivaya (Beautiful)!” enthralled Stalin when Micah presented the diamond dagger to his Beloved Leader on a velvet and crystal tray, its bottom covered in white satin, as pure as freshly fallen Siberian snow. The red diamond scintillated. Micah saw the black eyes of Comrade Stalin gaze at the fairest of all diamonds, as he would never allow himself to do at any woman. Micah knew that look; it was the look of The Lover. A Maven.

My beloved Comrade Stalin, I shall die a happy man knowing I, Micah created something which has pleased you.” Stalin’s dark. eyes showed no emotion.

Just before dawn, someone slipped into the guest cottage where the old man was sleeping peacefully and emptied a phial containing pure Digitalis into a pitcher of water. Micah was often thirsty during the night. His room was warm from the logs the Comrade Stalin’s guards were constantly burning.

Micah’s heirs in Antwerp were informed in a letter Comrade Stalin, General Secretary of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics had written himself.

‘’Our dear Micah Aaronson, wandered into the woods near by and was never seen again. Many search parties were organized. They all came back without Micah. I am personally distraught. The Soviet people will never forget his splendid creation. In the name of the people, I shall forever remain grateful to Comrade and most of all Master of Diamonds, Micah.’’

Signed: Josef Stalin – in his own calligraphy in dark brown ink
______

ADOLF HITLER

‘’Curse those doctors!’’ muttered Stalin. They were constantly plying him with chai, (tea) sluice looking juices, and special medicines.

Poisonous Muck, they all want me dead. Not that I am shining with good health. They intend to hasten my process of dying.

His headaches were increasing in frequency and intensity. My dear, blessed Mother gave me herbs to drink when I had migraine attacks as a child. What did she call them? Ah! Willow bark. I must begin my walks in the woods and gardens of my dacha. And watch for those willows.

His eyes cleared at this decision and he espied a thick folder, which must have slipped out of the massive one on the Diamond Summary. It was written in bold green letters "Reinhard Heydrich’s Report on Adolf Hitler.’’

The Red Army, on his orders must have captured it during the fall of Prague. He had to read it again. Heydrich was the best Spy Master who ever was, and would be.

I might have done many things differently had I a Heydrich providing me with the best Human Intelligence. The British claimed the kill on Heydrich. Let them. Two of the Czech partisans who participated in the bomb attack in Prague who were supposed to be agents for the SIS – Secret Intelligence Service. They were ardent Communists and loyal to me.

Stalin took the Heydrich folder delicately and with an emotion akin to respect, slowly untied the green ribbons, which held the pages together.

Adolf Hitler had Aries as his astrological sun sign. That pleased him enormously.

‘‘Leonardo (da Vinci) the perfect Renaissance man, Count Otto von Bismarck, the Iron Chancellor, President Thomas Jefferson, the great American leader and intellectual were also Aries – April Aries all.’’ He used to chuckle frequently to Himmler, Borman, Goering and of course, to me. (That would be Reinhard Heydrich, Chief of the SS Intelligence until his assassination in nineteen forty two) Since Sumerian /Babylonian times, the birthstone assigned to those born under the sun sign of Aries had always been a diamond.

The Fuhrer also believed in the power of names, gems and numbers. His last name – the name his grandfather had used until he was reborn – had been Schickelgruber. The astrologers had agreed ’’ Hitler is a powerful name, just like a fine diamond. ‘’

He was not alone. Lenin, Mao Tse Dong, Stalin, Trotsky, Bela Kun, Mussolini, Gandhi and a score of powerful men throughout the ages have changed their names in order to be in a better position to fulfill their destinies…. or so they believed.

Hitler, like Stalin also developed a longing for diamonds – because he was superstitious and believed his power was linked to diamonds. “Only a diamond can cut another diamond,” he would often remind his aides and his generals.

This part struck Stalin. How did Heydrich know I was a MAVEN!

Well, Well. Bravo. That only confirms even more how right I was about him. He gave the page a strong salute. He continued reading slowly; for fear that he might miss something important.

When Stalin and Hitler signed the pact of non-aggression, carving up Poland, the Red Army of Stalin sacked the palaces of the Polish nobility, the banks, their bank vaults, Churches, and synagogues. The Communist Party for their malevolent activities used the money. The diamonds were taken and initially stored in underground caves near Stalin’s dacha outside of Moscow.

Suddenly, Stalin felt a strong gelid chill. "Heydrich penetrated my Chiefs of Staff, my High Command, Admiralty, Armed Forces, Politburo, even my Secret NKVD. That young man was a genius in Espionage. None of that surprises me. I’ve known it for years. But my Diamonds! I am shocked. That is an outrage!’’

When the SS entered Paris, the most beautiful diamond pieces in the bank vaults were set-aside for the Fuhrer. Most governments, in secret, kept vast caches of gold and more than gold – of diamonds. With Cartier, Van Cleef and Arpels, Chabot, and Gerard, famed houses of jewelry all, the National Socialists had an exhilarating time.

‘’Diamonds or Death,’’ declared the S.S.

The Bank of France gave up its hordes of diamonds and gold, afraid to fight a useless and pointless fight.

‘’The Fuhrer is adding yet more diamonds to his collection. Like Siegfried in “Das Rheingold” who craved gold. His adoration of diamonds is mythological and magical, even perhaps tinged with a twisted spiritualism.’’

In the ghettoes of Warsaw, Prague and Budapest, painstaking searches were conducted by the S.S. to find raw or cut diamonds. These were done with the assistance of some Jewish elders who urged their people ‘’ leave your diamonds for safekeeping.’’

Once again, the diktat was ‘’Diamonds or Death’’.

Antwerp was a particularly terrifying place to be. The streets where the diamond dealers lived, worked, cleaved and transacted business were meticulously and repeatedly searched. Walls were knocked down, sinks were broken, floorboards slowly removed, drainage pipes taken away, chimneys torn, cesspits examined, sewers gone through with dogs who were made to smell the diamond cutters or members of their family.

A ton of diamonds is in Germany underneath the Fuhrer’s villa in Berchteshgaden, the Austrian Alps, in the Reichstag, and in the Bundestag, Heydrich’s most trusted S.S. officers reported to their Chief.

At this point of the For Your Eyes Only Report, someone else steps in, after the assassination of Reinhard Heydrich: Reinhard Gehlen, who defines himself as one of the Chief’s Brainstormers.
That’s correct. Gehlen and nine hundred other talented agents of the SS escaped from the Red Army ‘s advance through Czechoslovakia and went to Switzerland, where Allen Dulles of the O.SS. Which is today the CIA, brought them all to the United States, thought Stalin with alarming clarity.

‘’My diamonds are in peril. How could I have missed this? I did not. The devil is in the details. My mistake.’’

Reinhard Gehlen writes: Operation Barbarossa was supposed to bring into the German coffers all the Russian oil, gold, furs and diamonds. Germany would extend all the way to the Pacific Ocean at Vladivostok. The Battle of Stalingrad gave National Socialist Germany a mortal blow. Millions of Russian and German corpses covered the steppes.

The defeat had been total at the hands of the Russians. Worse! Hitler had not seen any diamonds – not as much as a shadow.

On July of 1944, Hitler had been wearing a belt lined in diamonds when Colonel Klaus von Stauffenberg placed a bomb at his feet.

‘’I survived the bomb blast by a miracle because the diamonds and destiny protected me, he thought.

The Yalta Agreement between President Franklin Delano Roosevelt of the United States, Prime Minister Winston Churchill on behalf of Great Britain, and Josef Stalin for the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, had established the rules of engagement.

The Red Army will advance and enter Germany and Eastern Europe before the Allies do, declared Stalin. That means that the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics would be the first to enter and penetrate Berlin.

"That’s preposterous Stalin,’’ roared Churchill.

“Woe! Fifty million dead cry out for vengeance,” exclaimed Stalin to a dying President Roosevelt and a dotty and drunk Prime Minister Churchill.

"Think of this. Fifty million Russians had to die so that your people could prepare the invasion of France. There would not have been a D-DAY without all our Russian corpses.’’

Marshall Stalin had his way. He usually did.

By April of 1945, after six months of unrelenting bombing by the Russians, they entered Germany; Hitler had gone to his bunker, an air raid shelter under the Chancellery Building in Berlin. It was a luxurious and comfortable place with the amenities his people did not have. Hitler’s mistress Eva Braun did not leave his side. As the Russians pressed on towards Berlin, Hitler had gifted his mistress with a diamond necklace in a cluster design and a sixteen carat diamond ring.

At the fall of Berlin, with the Russian Army literally, meters away from the building, Hitler and Eva Braun were married and committed suicide twenty minutes later.

Stalin sighs and relaxes. He notes with pride that the secret report, which he holds in his unstable hands, is firmly in control of the Soviets. Colonel Oleg Penkowsky, one of the most talented Intelligence officers in the KGB writes:

The Russian NKVD (precursors of the KGB) officer who inspected Hitler’s bunker had been tersely commanded.

“Bring everything back to the Kremlin! Dead bodies, burnt corpses, prisoners, documents, papers, paintings, photographs, sketches and drawings. Look for diamonds. Find them. You’re dead if you don’t.”

It was not an accident that the NKVD officers had been the first to arrive at the scene of Hitler’s bunker.

All over Germany, the command was, “Bring everything back that you think is of value to the people. You are not supposed to think, only obey.”

As the Red Army looted, ransacked, and raped 300,000 German women in retaliation for all their fallen comrades and suffering at the hands of the Germans, no-one noticed, except those under orders from General Secretary Stalin himself, that all the diamonds were rounded up and sent back to Moscow.

__________

Josef Stalin, who had a sense of irony and a great deal of black humor, called his collection of diamonds the “Starel Hordes.” “Sta” for Stalin. “Rel” the ler from Hitler spelled backwards. “Hordes” because Genghis Khan and his hordes had overrun his country of Georgia, in golden helmets, spurs and lances.

All those who knew or might even "suspect’’ about the diamonds had been sent to gulags where the frigid temperature, hard labor, and lack of food had quickly caused their demise. The individuals Stalin considered a threat were killed under his favorite euphemism, "Arrest without Interrogation."

‘’It had been such a longtime- 34 years ago. It begun with the execution of the Romanov family, which had taken place at Yekaterinburg. Diamonds had played a vital role there as well. The Romanov diamonds had actually made my collection the most important in the world, surpassing even those of the British Crown,’’ he mused with pride.

Reality reared its inevitable head. I am worn out and drained. My last attack has left me and my Starel Hordes vulnerable. I am in a dangerous position. The doctors could kill me easily now. I know what I must do. I must act quickly and decisively.