Friday, October 7, 2011


Author's Note: This is a continuation of my previous essay " WHEN MEN BOLT AND DESTROY INNOCENT LIVES."

When Love dies, the subject of one's LOVE, be it a son or daughter, a husband, wife or lover, a sibling or a parent ; a piece of yourself dies with that individual. It can never be recovered. Much as in a heart attack, you hope that you will not die, but survive it brilliantly and colorfully instead; and that scar tissue will cover it in time.

These Murderers may be very much alive, how much is open to question. Why? Because those who wound others so thoughtlessly, selfishly, maliciously, deceitfully, carelessly/planned carefully down to the last details are murderers just as much as those who physically kill others. In a way they are worse.  True murderers relive their kills, feeling emotions which are negative and bad but emotions nevertheless. But the kind of emotional Murders I am dissecting here commit these acts without a backward glance. The worst are the husbands/lovers. They simply go on to the next victim. Of course they do not view the objects of their new Love (Lust is a far better word) as victims. These people do not know what Love, Dedication and Devotion is like. They feel only SEX. They are passionate exclusively  in a lustful howling dog relationship. They can simulate passion, but the only time they FEEL anything is only through depraved coupling.  Once that dissolves, its shelf life is about two years, it's on to the next object/victim. Do emotional and marital murderers live contented lives? Perhaps only sociopaths, because they are so good at pretense.

How do these  killers end their now cold and boring relationship? In this techno age, you need not even face your partner. Just steal away like a thief in the night. And then the beast gets in touch after he has carefully prepared the explanation/explanations with...what email!  Before out techie age, faxes became the rage for breaking off a relationship or running away from a marriage.

Now we come to the vital question.

Are those who wound their families sociopaths/psychopaths? Perhaps. I would dare to answer that in a way one might call them sociopaths. It is not prudent nor wise to blame  their parents or their childhoods.  I have seen vibrant marriages that have lasted sixty years and more and their progeny, sons particularly are "endowed" with multiple or serial marriages. The example set by the parents serve little or nothing. Why?

Because Love rarely dies a natural DEATH. It dies because we don't know or don't want to keep replenishing its vital source - its elan vital .

I would challenge those who use that odious cliche" It takes two to tango".  Not in a marriage dearies.
True, TWO people have to work at it constantly, despite almost insurmountable problems such as money, illness and catastrophic world events. But it only takes ONE of the partners to destroy a marriage or a relationship.  I speak from experience.

Love dies of betrayals and deceit and blindness. Of humiliations and negligence, it withers away like a tubercular lung or a rose whose lymph has been eaten away by aphids.

It dies of destructive behavior. Perhaps a partner is a borderline con-man. Real work is beneath him. He's smarter and usually ends up outsmarting himself, plunging those around him in a dramatic if not feast or famine life; into a never ending nightmare of perennial lack of funds.

It dies of mortal wounds. It dies of weariness. The recipients or dare I call them victims? can truly no longer keep receiving these blows, metaphorically speaking.

But wait , there is no REQUIESCAT IN PACEM in these death.

What happens to the recipients of this Murderer's actions? Women and children?

To be continued.  

1 comment:

Isabel Van Fechtmann

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